A woman has been backed for refusing to cancel a trip to Italy with her male best friend – who said she had sex with – after her boyfriend said it made him feel uncomfortable.
The original poster (OP), known as u/Unique-Salt-1013, posted about the situation to Reddit’s popular “Am I The A**hole” forum where it received more than 9 100 upvotes and 2,500 comments. The position can be found here.
According to a survey conducted by the Survey Center on American Life, more than 58% of Americans report having a close friend of the opposite sex.
The survey also found that 63% of men are more likely to report having a close friend of a different gender, compared to 53% of women.
Among married women, only 43% have a close friend of a different sex, compared to 54% of married men.
When it comes to single women, that number jumps to nearly two-thirds of respondents saying they have a close friend.
Although many of these friendships remain platonic, recent data suggests that men are more likely to be attracted to their girlfriends than women.
In the post titled “AITA for refusing to cancel a trip with my best friend”, the 25-year-old said she had been with her 28-year-old boyfriend for nearly three months.
“I have an upcoming trip with my best friend to Italy that my boyfriend wants me to cancel,” the post read. “We’ve been planning this trip for months now, booked the tickets 6 months ago, and my boyfriend doesn’t care that it was all planned before him.”
The PO said the reason her boyfriend wanted her to cancel the trip is because her best friend is a 25-year-old man and he ‘doesn’t trust them’ to spend a week alone together on the trip .
In an update, the OP clarified that she had slept with the friend in the past, which she explained as “five minutes of drunken sex” about seven years ago.
“We have no romantic or physical attraction to each other, so we’ve decided to put it in the past and just be friends,” the update read. “Since then, we’ve been on many trips, stayed in hotel rooms before, and no one had made a move towards each other.”
The OP said that while she “understands” that it’s a “factor” in her boyfriend’s comfort, she doesn’t think it’s enough for her not to trust him.
“We are sharing a hotel room to save money, but there are separate beds,” the post read. “I’ve been this guy’s best friend since freshman year of college and I don’t plan on not being friends with him because of someone I just started dating.”
The trip is in three weeks and the OP said she still hasn’t told her friend how her boyfriend feels.
“So IATA for refusing the cancellation? » the message read.
More than 2,500 users commented on the post, with many supporting the woman’s decision not to cancel her trip to Italy.
“NTA You guys have been dating for 3 months and he is already acting insecure and controlling,” one user commented. “Just break up with him.”
“NTA but know he’s already trying to control you after 3 months!” another user commented. “Imagine how much worse it could be in 6 months or even a year.”
“Your boyfriend’s insecurities are his own problem. You’re dating him, not your travel buddy,” another commented. “If he doesn’t recognize it, it’s his problem, not your problem.”